Sunday, May 06, 2007

the canyon air

Maybe I will be Liz Phair for GH's 90s party. There are some who say they have no nostalgia for the 90s. Others who have no nostalgia for any era. Eh, whatever. I can say that while I do not miss high school all that much, I do miss the Clinton administration, going to indie rock shows, great music, Sassy magazine, Weetzie Bat books, tearing through any book really that I could get my hands on, and that whole going to college thing.

What I do miss is driving in New Orleans and listening to WTUL, writing zines, trying to dye my brother's hair with cranberry juice cocktail, writing all my college applications to PJ Harvey's "To Bring You My Love," drinking iced coffee with friends, taking a lot of Northeast Direct Amtrak trains to visit friends and my brother, tasting new cuisine, and moving to France for six months. What I remember best about the 90s was feeling that anything and everything was possible. I always had my fatalistic, pseudo-cynical side, but I always tried to hold onto the spark of life.

I watched "Away from Her" today with GH and I realized how much I've changed. That marriage really doesn't feel that far from what I am moving towards. That I've already seen close family lose their minds, learning to let go. But the movie also stresses that you don't lose what you had. So I am all for nostalgia as long as it pushes you forward and keeps your fear and anxiety in check. Things will always change, but negative mindsets do everything to fulfill themselves. Better to go dancing around the room when moments like that hit. I recommend "Whip-Smart": Liz Phair for moments like that.


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